There are some games that you really want to review, and then there are some games that get offered to you for review and you hesitate before saying yes. For me, Lollipop Chainsaw was one of the hesitate before saying yes games. THough I do have a love for all things zombie, I was seriously worried about what a chainsaw wielding, seemingly Japanese influenced, blond bimbo Cheerleader would actually bring to the horror genre.
Predictably for hardcore zombie lovers, not much. But for those that love a bit to titillation and vulgar humour, then Juliet is probably your girl.
Lollipop Chainsaw begins with Juliet welcoming you to her bedroom, then hopping in the shower before heading out to meet her boyfriend. Along the way however, a zombie outbreak has occurred so Juliet whips out her chainsaw (no explanation as to why Juliet the cheerleader was carrying a chainsaw in the first place) and starts decapitating zombies and saving the living, whilst trying to make it to her date on time.
Alas, by the time Juliet makes it to the pre-arrange meeting place, Nick her boyfriend is fighting off the living dead and – you guessed it – gets bitten. Fortunately, Juliet, the blond bimbo cheerleader has been paying attention in her High School Science lessons and knows how to save Nick’s life – well, at least his head… from this point on, Nick is bouncing around clipped to Juliet’s belt, and is occasionally used as a weapon.
Whilst the game is initially a bit of brain dead fun, it soon becomes apparent that the game is more interested in serving up a decent soundtrack and a whole lot of titillation before bothering to worry about actual gameplay. A lot of focus seems to be looking down Juliets top or up her skirt, and when she is slaughtering zombies, you’ll be listening to comments about her breasts, her supposed nocturnal activities and much more. The only clever and enjoyable voice scripting coming from Nicks decapitated head, which is suitably sarcastic.
The combat, which should have been one of the strong points of the game is for the most part basic. The further you progress the more you unlock, but is essentially uninspiring and repetitive.
There is however some sort of undefinable, perverse charm in playing Lollipop Chainsaw, and the simplicity of it means it’s great for a bit of mindless pick up and play. Essentially, it would make a great XBLA game, but as a full retail release, it’s left wanting.