Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a step up from the first film in this Jurassic World re-boot, and on the surface is a nicely orchestrated wide that will entertain for the duration. And if that’s all that matters to you, then you should stop reading and go book your tickets.

However if you like the chew on what you’ve seen after you leave the cinema, then be warned, if you even think about scratching the surface to see what’s underneath you’ll soon discover a trove of of things wrong with the film.

First up is that the plot is always the same – something is up with the Dinosaurs, everything goes wrong, child needs rescuing. And maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing if the film still had that Steven Spielberg directed sense of wonder, which it most certainly doesn’t.

Then there’s the whole lets make it fit withing the family movie rating. It’s not a family film. Small children will have nightmares, especially when one scene only reinforces that nighttime fear that shadows are always monsters trying to eat you. Lets take Jurassic Park to the next level and do a Logan. Make it explicitly R-rated. Because when someone gets their arm ripped off and you only show a few minor drops of blood it just looks FAKE. Forget a sense of wonder, forget get any kind of sense, you just lost credibility.

And whilst we’re talking family films, please stop taking little kids to M-rated films. The M-rating (if you look at the small print on the film’s sticker) is suitable for a MATURE audience 16 years and older. You can find out more here.

And then there’s the plot itself. It’s bad enough that Chris Pratt can almost out run a pyroclastic flow, but how does he survive being engulfed by one for a second or two? Go on, click that link so you can see just how fast and how hot that ‘dust cloud’ would actually be. I could go on detailing plot holes, but I’m gonna jump to another biggie. Why was one dinosaur so damn intent on hunting down a little girl through an unfamiliar environment, when freedom and the much bigger smorgasbord of Las Vegas was waiting just outside? And why, when said dinosaur has the girl cornered, did he slowly tease her instead of devouring her? Hhhmmmmmmm.

Fallen World of course ends with the promise of a new adventure, this time set on American soil. But sadly it’ll never live up to it’s potential due to the lucrative pull of the family market.

Oh, and getting back to plot holes for just a second, why the fuck did John Hammond build a dino theme park on Isla Nublar if it was a fucking active volcano?

Ok, rant over. If you’re still reading and you enjoyed the previous Jurassic films, you’ll love this one. Go watch it.

Rating: M Suitable for a mature audience 16 years and older. Violence.



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